Friday, February 25, 2005, 10:54 PM
Have you ever sat down for a moment and think about how and what you would do if someone close to you passes away?
Everytime I get to know about deaths and funerals, this question would flash across my mind. What would I do if someone close to me dies? How would I feel? Especially if the person is an important part of my life?
There are times when I look at my parents, and I can tell they have aged. I look at myself, and I know I'm not the young boy my parents had to protect before. No doubt I'm not fully independant, but the fact of the matter is, things have changed, just like things always change. Nothing stays the same forever. Our looks. Our age. Our lives.
Yes, especially our lives.
Who could feel what you feel if someone close to you passes away? Your pain is just like a tiny ripple in the vast ocean... it simply has little or no effect at all on the world. You know there's a period of time that you may grief... but after the grief you still move on. You know what was lost cannot be regained, but in replacement of it, you have the power to create. You have the power to do meaningful things in your life.
Would people grief for me if I die? So what if people do grief for me? Would I be able to see it? Would it make a difference?
Things happen. It doesn't always have to happen for a reason. But they do happen. Things that we have no control over. Sometimes, it makes you feel helpless, because you feel everything slipping away from your hand, despite the efforts put in to grab on. You try to live, but yet you die. You try desperately to grab onto the lives of your loved ones... but you know they have to leave you. You know things happen.
How would you feel?
Wednesday, February 23, 2005, 7:49 PM
I've recently gotten myself a new pixel obsession : GAIA Online. It's basically an online forum with an attitude... you get your own avatar that is fully customisable! Since I'm a fan of modding, this game got me hooked on right away.
Besides the regular chatting forums, you can also earn gold through submitting artworks, clicking on links, selling your items to other players or through the Fishing game. The site promises more mini games, so I think it'll be worth the while to stick around.
If you're into roleplaying without limitations, this might just be the pie for you. And we all love pie, don't we?
Go check out the site NOW! I placed a small banner of it in the links section. You can't miss it.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005, 12:01 PM
Finally finished the cursed MUMI Assignment 02. By the time I completed the goddamn thing, it was already 3:30am. Damnit.
And I had MMPJ test 9am in the morning.
Well, the good thing was that the quack doctor hadn't collected the cds from the sacred box. Good. Cause now I don't have to pay a penalty for handing in late work.
Time for GAIA online.
Friday, February 11, 2005, 10:31 PM
You realise that you are addicted when you do the following:
1) You scream and yell at the monitor when the website is down.
2) You constantly check the website for updates every one minute
I know that's true, because I JUST DID THAT.
GODDAMNIT. Come back up GAIA! I still have work to do!
Shit! Work! Uh...
Work is gay.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005, 8:55 PM
What does Chinese New Year mean to me?
A time where the family gathers around... to eat steamboat.
Yeah yeah, I'm a glutton, but I can't help it. It's fun to eat steamboat, you just dump everything in and hey presto, food!
Happy Lunar New Year!
Thursday, February 03, 2005, 2:42 AM
Morality don't decide what is right or wrong in this world. The majority does.
What the hell am I doing up at this hour?!
Wednesday, February 02, 2005, 8:36 PM
Oracle Results
|
| choices |
heart |
mind |
gut |
Total |
| create my webcomic |
[10] |
[10] |
[10] |
30 |
| read webcomics |
[10] |
[10] |
[10] |
30 |
| sleep |
[10] |
2 |
8 |
20 |
| stone |
1 |
1 |
[10] |
12 |
| complete my assignments |
3 |
7 |
2 |
12 |
The Oracle Advises...
|
create my webcomic
|
Ask the Oracle a Question
|
Tuesday, February 01, 2005, 11:25 AM
The world is such a weird place to live in.
Do you remember the time when you were a little boy? You had clear aspirations, clear goals. You know what you want. You know what you want to be.
But as you grow up, all these feelings fade. Things change. Your once ambitious goal becomes smaller and smaller. And at a moment in time, you simply dismissed them as impossible or even silly.
This may have happened to you. I don't know. But I'm certainly speaking for myself. As I aged, I grow weaker from grabbing onto my goals. I simply just let go. It's like, I don't even have the will to dream anymore. I don't have a goal in life. I don't know where to start. I don't know where my talent lies. Sounds like a whole bunch of mumbo crap. But a person who has a reason of existence has a higher chance to succeed, because they dare to reach out for their goal. Dare to dream, they say.
At one point in time, all this dream and ambitions thingy just appeared to be crap to me. Nobody could assure me of the future. I just want to stop dreaming about being a scientist or a writer anymore. I just let myself sink deeper and deeper, holding onto the sole reason of clowning around friends everyday.
Why clown around friends, you say? Because I enjoy making a fool out of myself?
Maybe.
Or maybe because you get to see different people smile just by making a fool out of yourself.
Laughter is contagious. When people laugh, I feel like laughing. When I laugh, I can even bluff myself into feeling happy.
Clowning around also helps you to elude your problems for a while. For a moment there, everything just seems to be so right. You don't think about what your future holds for you. You don't think about what tomorrow holds for you. You just do what you have to do. You go crazy. And in return, you MAY feel happy.
Maybe I should just stop clowning and concentrate on finding my own strengths and talents. Maybe I have none. But sometimes I just feel that it's better to just be serious for once. I don't even know myself anymore. Maybe one of this days part of my personality would just fade away, forgotten, to be totally replaced by the clown I've created. Maybe it would be better for me that way.
People often grumble about how unfair the world is. The world is a pretty mean place to live in, but get this straight - if it ever becomes a fair world to live in, you're probably way out of your mind.
What's fair to you may not appear fair to others. Have you ever thought about that?
Think about it.
