Saturday, March 05, 2005, 11:07 PM
I'll be 19 in about an hour's time.
Sometimes I wonder what I really want in my life. What do I hope to acheive? What do I want to accomplish? Do I have a dream or a goal that I want to fulfil?
But everytime I end up with no answers.
Everyone has their own dreams and goals that they would want to pursue. I'm like a ship lost in the big ocean, moving along with the currents that occasionally come along that push me towards a certain direction. Being a lost ship with no bearings, I just go along with it, aimless. In situations like this, would you think that you're better off dead?
Being dead... is it necessarily a good thing? I don't think I would want to die without accomplishing anything in my life. Such an aimless life... it's like you have never lived at all. Have I made a difference in anyone's life? Not that I know of.
Some people yearn to become stronger in whatever it is that they do. I just can't convince myself to have such determination as them. Get stronger. Why would I? Who do I want to protect? What do I hope to get out of it? What am I trying to protect? My ideals? My dreams? I don't think I have any.
Questions, questions and more questions. Questions that probably can only be answered by me alone. I really detest this type of life. Darn I hate life. I hate living in this corrupted society. But I'll live on. Just so that I can accomplish something in my life. Just so that I can learn what I want out of my life.
Maybe I won't be so miserable by the end of all this. Or maybe I'll just die with regrets and hatred for the world.
I'll opt for the first option.
