Wednesday, January 18, 2006, 8:55 AM
It's always amusing to read flames, really. Especially when it revolves around matters that people would just walk away from in real life.
Funny how the internet works huh?
The fact that you can rebuke someone and yet get away with it has made flaming so popular on the net. Most people don't flame because of what the author has written. They flame because they can. Being a fellow attention seeker, I totally understand how they feel. Just think of the attention you can get for flaming somebody!
Knowing that, let us go through some important steps to ensure that
you, my fellow attention seeking whore, would be able to garner as much attention as you had intended to.
Step 1: Picking your victimWith the advent of blogs on the raise to popularity, one should never turn a blind eye to this spectacular breeding ground for flamers-to-be.
What better place is there to gather more attention than a blog that has been showered by media attention? Do some research and you'll eventually find your holy grail.
Step 2: Risk assessmentOf course, you can't just blindly flame your victim without doing some risk assessment.
If you're going to make it big, never allow any chances for a slip up. Researching is very important. Read through your victim's blog entries and comments left behind by his/her fans or haters. It would help an awful lot in your risk assessment.
Remember, no slip ups. Leave no loop holes in your flaming.
Step 3: Flame him while it's hotIf you're an amateur flamer, I suggest you step back and learn from the pros at work. It's hard for an amateur to start a flame by himself, so just add to the flames while you're at it and try to get the hang of it.
Don't be in a hurry to gain fame for yourself. Nobody become a star overnight.
Step 4: Kage BunshinThe strength is in the numbers.
The more flamers there are to your cause, the bigger the flame would be. Of course, we can't always expect people to agree with us 100% of the time, and that's where this ancient ninja technique comes in.
Make secret clones of yourself to support your own cause. When you have enough "supporters", people would miraculously jump to your cause. But always be careful not to get caught.
Step 5: Making a mountain out of a molehillLast but not least, the very important step, making a mountain out of a molehill.
Always keep in mind that the internet works differently from the real world. Matters that one would normally overlook in a normal real life circumstance could become a totally hot topic on the internet.
It's your job as a flaming attention whore to make a big fuss out of your victim's blog entry. But a word of caution - if you fail to rally support for this movement, you
would fall terribly. But not to worry, you could always start anew with a new nick.
Now go and fulfil your destiny. The short, 3 minute attention span of the internet awaits you.
Don't you just love the internet?
